When you surfed on the Internet for an extended period of time, you probably will encounter several internet personalities or celebrities who are famous for plethora of things, whether their personality, their likeability, or their sense of humor. Some of them are also known to be the biggest laughingstock of the world wide web, they themselves being totally oblivious of the fact. These types of people are easily discoverable on every corner of the web, mostly on social medias, and people can't help but to witness their degeneracy as the means of boosting internet clout.
There is a term that would describe these people perfectly, and the term in question is "lolcows". It borrows its own term from "cow", which is a farmstock animal typically raised for the milk to be harvested. And from this definition, a lolcow is a type of person on the internet who is gullible and highly exploitative, typically trolled in regular basis with the means of producing cringeworthy content or to divulge embarrassing information to be weaponized against them just for fun without them realizing it for one bit. In short, lolcows are more or less like a "cash cow", but instead of monetary revenue, the internet is spoiled with funny, mostly cringe content generated by some people who are unaware that they are being manipulated, often extensively.
There is a big rift when it comes to lolcows and those who are presented as a legitimate comedian on the web. Comedians tend to plan their contents carefully, accounting for their viewer base, and are doing it willingly. Lolcows on the other hand, are trying to present themselves as a serious creator, but inexplicably ended up producing content that are instead perceived to be unintentionally hilarious, despite the creator's initial direction.
When it comes to the world-renowned lolcows, Chris Chan immediately sprung up to mind. Since he is the most documented person on the internet, if not the world, every move he did is meticulously recorded, including his (mis)adventures of finding his true love, even if it means that he must post videos or contents with compromising materials, or his full-blown delusions about the animated dimension and the real world being merged together. From the discovery of his Sonichu comics to his arrest and subsequent incarceration for incest, everything and anything that he has ever done was meant to be on a serious note, but alas, the internet never gave its two cents, and instead presented him as the biggest buffoon ever lived. When it comes to the epitome of a lolcow, Chandler is the first person come into mind.
Lolcows of this caliber tend to perceive everything according to their viewpoints only and dismissing what the outside world said about them. This then, created a perfect recipe for internet disaster, as more people inevitable came to their contact, and ended up getting trolled relentlessly. One particular person who also fits this category other than Chris Chan, is the man named Chance Wilkins, or Cyrax as known to the Internet. To say that Cyrax and Chandler is alike if not one of the same is an understatement. While Chandler is autistic and has a big obsession of becoming a comic book artist, Cyrax on the other hand, is deluded enough to think that he is a famous rapper, while in reality, he is a 30-ish year old, 5 feet (1.52 meters) tall, rage-filled man-child known as a plagiarist, sexual assaulter, a pedophile, and a narcissist. Why a plagiarist? Well, his own music catalogue, even his own stage name is nothing but stolen materials from other artists. His obsession with fame in the music industry is the main reason why this man is known as the lolcow of the year after Chandler's incarceration. Trolls use this to enable his fantasies and manipulating him extensively. His appearance on its own is more likely a result of several physical deformities, like progeria. It is also rumored that he may have a condition called cleidocranial dysplasia, where certain bones in the body don't develop. He is also born with one kidney and developed lung issues. These deformities, either physically or mentally, are mainly stemmed by his parents, specifically his mother's alcohol addiction by the time of Cyrax's conception. Some might say that both of his parents are intellectually disabled.
I don't know how others would react, but the mukbang genre of YouTube can also produce gold when it comes to a lolcow being loose on the Internet. Case in point, the big, fat, ugly mess that is Nikocado Avocado. For years, hundreds and thousands of eyes watched the evolution (in this case, an evolution going in reverse) of this former vegan and a skilled violinist from a relatively healthy man to an obese degenerate who does nothing but gorging himself on fast food in large quantities and screaming and wailing like a middle-aged woman with a midlife crisis. Watching his mukbang videos is bizarre enough, and the fact that he also operates an OnlyFans account doesn't help his case. Some lolcows that fit this description are also known for their love-hate relationship with fans and trolls alike. Just look at Amberlynn Reid. What this lady have done is starting a YouTube channel to document her weight loss journey, but quickly devolved into a mukbang channel, plus all the stuff that she did that incurred the wrath of the Internet. It seems like there is a cycle of some sort when it comes to this woman's whole content. She started by promising to try a new diet plan, then subsequently abandon it, and when confronted, she spewed lies after lies to present herself as the victim of her own laziness. What makes her a lolcow in this sense is the presence of enablers-who are her own friends and girlfriends-further stroking her planetary-sized ego (and body).
Egotism, it seems can contribute to someone being labeled on the Internet as a lolcow, as their strong sense of entitlement trumps all of their strong points, making them susceptible for trolling and online harassment. Some of the can be outright creepy. One instance of this is someone by the name of Daniel Larson. This Denver, Colorado native is actually a schizophrenic man known for his TikTok escapade, as well as his rather unusual behavior, particularly towards underage girls on the platform. Hell, he once had a ridiculous amount of underage smut material, and nonchalantly confess it to the internet. Talk about being bold and outright dumb at the same time. As with Cyrax, Larson is also highly delusional about being a famous musician, always convinced that he is a big-time celebrity, but in reality, the trolls only engage with him to enable his fantasies and ultimately humiliate himself without him even realize it for one bit.
In short, lolcows are those type of people who are oblivious to the fact that their presence on the internet is nothing more than a subject of amusement for trolls to indulge. They might present themselves as serious and factual, but all the trolls see is jokes and pranks written all over them. These people would still engage themselves on the internet, sometimes to the point of being terminally online, just to be played and manipulated upon by the other, not-so-friendly internet users. For those of you who are writing this, let's assess your life, take a break from the internet, and please, for the love of God, socialize outside more. It helps yourself and your mental wellbeing.
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