The True Kitchen Nightmare: The Story of Amy's Baking Company

 (Warning: Strong languages ahead)

 

            I have to say that during my 27 years of living on this planet, I am not a fan of reality television. These programs, even though have good intentions of showcasing regular lives of ordinary people, are cringeworthy for most of the time, as these same ones are watched by millions of people not because of the journey that these regular people have been through, but for all the drama surrounding it, and sometimes, the showrunners, producers, even the networks that authorize the broadcast often ask for more drama to attract more viewers, and in turn increasing their ratings to earn more profit, sometimes in the expense of the talents involved. 

 

            But even though these shows are allegedly not as real as they can be, some shows can be as a steppingstone to fame, or in this case infamy of the parties involved. And one establishment gained their notoriety thanks to a reality show centered on rescuing failing culinary institution. The program I'm currently talk about is called Kitchen Nightmares, hosted by non-other than the Scottish culinary legend Gordon Ramsay. The premise is pretty simple, Ramsay would travel across the United States to hopefully help saving various struggling restaurants, often drowned in extensive debt. On one side, this program paints a light about the culinary industry as a whole, that it's not all about serving good food and being a contributor to the community, but also the business side of it, and some restaurants are more struggling than everyone else. On the other, it also highlighted the grim reality that some restaurants, if not managed property, no matter how hard the efforts, would instead sink faster than it would be capable to do. 

 

            The program's format works as follows: Gordon would respond to the restaurant's request for help and traveled to said restaurant. His first step is to observe the both the exterior and the interior of the establishment, and to sample some of the dishes that the place offered. Most of the time the food is either bad at best or disgusting at worst. After the initial assessment, he would confront the staff and the owners and explained what went wrong with the food, often with explosive results. The show then moved to dinner service inspection, where Gordon oversees how the service was conducted, most of the time also ended in failures. At this point, he may be inspecting the cleanliness of the kitchen and the walk-in freezer, and in the majority of that occasion found nothing but filth, mold, rust, even expired and contaminated ingredients (cross-contaminations are prevalent, by mixing cooked ingredients with raw ones, especially meat and poultry products). After concluding and identifying the problems, he then proceeded to overhaul the establishment by revamping the interior and its menu, and the episode ends with the restaurant's relaunch, and Gordon left the place and continuing on his journey. Most of the time, the format has stayed in this formula for most of the show's time on air, until one establishment came and wreck it all forever.

 

            Let's stop by Scottsdale, Arizona, and meet Salomon "Samy" Bouzaglo and his wife Amy, owners of Amy's Baking Company. Samy invested roughly over US$ 1 Million to the place, which was first opened its doors in 2006 as a way of fulfilling her dreams in the culinary arts. Samy is an Israeli national while Amy is American, both were married by the time the episode aired. Initially, they send their SOS to Gordon for "bad review-driven loss". Not only that, but they also have a surprisingly high staff turnover in the show's history. The episode's cold open showcased the couple's utter insanity, but not until Gordon arrived, when they finally reveal their true colors. At first, Ramsay was pleased by the interior of the restaurant, the cleanliness of the kitchen and the freezer, and also praised Amy for her exceptional baking skills (Mind you, looking at their behavior as depicted at the time, this is allegedly Amy and Samy's way to distract Gordon from the real problems at hand). But when it comes to their other products, however, let's just say it left a bad taste on his mouth. 

 

            And this is not limited to the gastronomy side of the restaurant, the staff treatment, as Gordon would find out, is as equally appalling. One server, Miranda, whom he met during filming revealed that she never made any tips from waiting tables, as the money she rightfully deserved went to Samy instead. Samy justified this by saying that he's the one working front house most of the time, albeit poorly (He is technologically crippled, as he demonstrated his inability to operate a point of sales (PoS) machine properly). It is revealed towards the end of the episode that the establishment has fired over 100 staff members in the span of 18 months (initial number was 50 according to a former employee). Come dinner service, the reality quickly descends on Gordon as he found out the reason why the food was sub-par, but not the desserts: Samy never told Amy about the problems and mishaps of her cooking, and she would instead deny any wrongdoings. It also became clear that the "fresh ravioli" offered in the menu was actually cheap, store-bought, frozen ones. The Scotsman then announced that ravioli is off the menu, much to Amy's chagrin. She also blamed others for her own mishaps as well; she accidentally told Kate, one of the servers the wrong table number while serving an order, but when asked to verify, she instead accused the waitress of "having an attitude". 

 

            And for the pièce de résistance, Gordon caught Samy pocketed the tip meant for the waitress, and proceed to tear him a new one, sparking a profanity-laced argument that ends with Amy shutting down operation and Kate, the poor waitress fired on the spot. During the final moments, before the inevitable truth, he tried to list everything that was wrong during the service, but the husband-wife team refused to listen. After that shocking turn of events, as well as finding the restaurant closed the day after service, and several interviews with former staff members, Gordon finally came to one unanimous conclusion: Samy and Amy Bouzaglo are too far gone and beyond help to the point of no return, and it's best for him to steer clear. For the first time ever, after roughly 5 seasons, on the 16th episode of the 6th season, Gordon Ramsay walked away from Amy's Baking Company before he could save it. This went down in history of the show as the one who got away, a restaurant he was forced to walked away from before he could salvage.

 

            After the episode had aired, the restaurant, as well as Amy and Samy became an overnight sensation (in a bad way, of course), capitalizing on their infamy to gain more traction online, only to be met with more harsh reviews and trolls from those who want the laughs. At this point, they are pretty much the biggest lolcow both online and offline. Let me tell you, it's all because of the memes. But how did the Bouzaglos responded to this? In true unhinged fashion, especially on their facebook page, millions and millions of angry comments flooded the facebook timelines, but when it comes to clarify those comments denouncing the critics, these jackasses had the audacity to lie, telling the press that the supposed facebook page had been hacked. Some encounters after the episode detailed even more unhinged behavior, particularly from Samy, as he was once confronted a customer while holding what appears to be some form of a bladed weapon, most likely a kitchen knife. But Samy again denied this, claiming that the object he held was actually a pen. Hell, they once ended up in another TV show, this time Dr. Phil, where they were confronted by Dr. Phil himself about their behaviors before and after Kitchen Nightmares. Spoiler alert, they are still the same delusional jackasses that Gordon encountered. The fucking audacity of these two bozos. 

 

            Soon, internet detectives began to dig up both Amy and Samy's pasts and discovered horrifying facts about their previous endeavours. Amy Bouzaglo, or rather, Amanda Bossingham, was once involved in a bank fraud case of "misuse of social security number" in 2003, where she attempted to apply a US$ 15.000 bank loan using her ex-husband’s last name. As a result, she served almost one year in prison. Samy on the other hand, has even more grim record, as he is banned from France and Germany, and has records involving drug distribution, extortion and making threats. Some even say that the dude has ties with the mafia, although the details are mostly unspecified. This revelation then came back to bite Samy in his Israeli ass, as he was deported back to the country (?) in 2018. 

 

            So, what happened with Amy's Baking Company after all the fiasco? In short, the restaurant ceased to exist in September 2015. Amy herself tried to publish a cookbook but ended up with little to no success. After closing the doors for good in Scottsdale, the couple moved to California until Samy's eventual deportation. Nowadays, they spend their lives in Israel, with Amy resuming her baking endeavors and opening her own bakery. Kitchen Nightmares has since stopped airing, concluding its seventh and final season on the 12th of September 2014, putting an end to the program started in 2007. In its place, a similar program called Gordon Ramsay's 24 Hours to Hell and Back aired between 2018 to 2020, as the pandemic hit the world. There had been talks to revive the show, but so far, it is still in the works.

 

            To bookend this piece, I must say that the culinary industry, although is quite glamorous with all of the indulgence of sense, taste, and smell, is one hell of an industry to ever existed. Chefs and all restaurant personnel are working tirelessly behind the scenes to deliver delicious crafts of gastronomy for the wider population to enjoy. Programs like Kitchen Nightmares painted us a harsh reality that if an establishment is managed incorrectly, either for low standards, toxic working environment, possible health hazards, and even delusional and insane restaurant owners could lead that restaurant into bankruptcy and eventually forced to shut down for good. And with Amy's Baking Company, their delusions and refusal to change their ways proven to be their own downfall. And that is the true kitchen nightmare.

Extreme Vegan Activists: A Plant-Based Pain in the Ass

 (Warning: Strong languages ahead)

 

            Hear me out on this one. I know some of you are into this diet for health benefits or if you are a true animal lover. I get it. I've been pestered on by two office cats in my desk, constantly wanting attention (and other coworkers' mind you), but I am not in a million years have the audacity to put those two in a pot of boiling water and turn them into a stew, even though I can be severely annoyed by their behaviors. Sure, maybe you would feel better physically or mentally if you swear to yourself to never eat meat, or maybe you have a heart of an angel, and managed to rescue a stray along the way. But what this piece is about is those shit-for-brains "activists" who simply have too much time in their goddamn hands and poisoning this peaceful society.

 

            Let's define what a vegan diet is. A vegan diet is basically a dietary choice that limits you to plant-based food only, with no animal product in sight. Some of you may confuse this with vegetarian diet, but there is a critical difference. Vegetarians would still consume some animal products like milk, eggs, and cheese, despite staying off meat of any kind. The opposite of the vegan diet would be the carnivore diet, which works the same way, but instead, leaving out all vegetables and fruits for meat and fish. Nowadays, there are more people (especially in the West) are switching or considering switching to a plant-based diet for multitude of reasons, whether to lose weight or other medical reasons, or simply because they view animals as the humanity's companion.

 

            There are many things that you can gain from this dietary choice. For example, it can help you with your digestive system, as this diet tend to provide more fiber that would excite your intestines. It also rich in other essential nutrients like antioxidant, potassium, magnesium, folate, and vitamins A, C, and E. It is also beneficial if you are currently losing weight, as this diet are proven to help you lose substantial amount, if not more weight than the standard or semi vegetarian diet. Most vegans would also argue that eating red meat poses more risk of having some form of cancer, and science does back this up. And it's also the same case with heart disease. And last but not least, by only having plant-based diet would benefit your kidneys, as vegans tend to have lower blood sugar levels.

            But everything has its dark side, and veganism also has it. For one, since meat is not an option, protein deficiency is a major problem since most vegetables did not have enough protein level as much as meat of any kind. And as a result, overindulgence of starch substitutes it, as this dietary option does not restrict it. having a big bowl of pasta would have the same results and effects as eating excessive amount of junk food. If you want to go vegan, be ready to take copious number of supplements along the way. If this diet is poorly planned, or just a part of some crash diet, you would probably be left lacking other essential nutrients like fatty acids, vitamin B12, B2 and D, niacin, zinc, calcium, iodine, among others. Like I said earlier, these types of meals need proper planning, and it can be impractical. You need to constantly come up with new ways of eating, while at the same time filter out those pesky animal-based products along the way. Let's say you are desperate to eat some meat, maybe you can find some meat substitute that happens to taste like the real thing. It's good and ethical, but those things may contain additives, artificial coloring, and a hell of a lot of sweeteners, which is deadly in the long run. And no matter which side of the spectrum you stand, these substitutes are in fact, processed foods. And like processed meat, processed meat substitutes still pose the same dangers.

 

            Of course, you want to share your experience of being a vegan to your loved ones or to the population in general, maybe you would gain friends with similar mindset or perhaps might convince someone or two to be vegan. And that essentially is a good thing. You want to do good deeds for humanity, right? But what I am witnessing for these past two to three years is like those two cats I mentioned earlier, except these "activists" actually made me want to sit them down and eat the biggest tomahawk steak (medium rare) imaginable and waving the bone in front of their face, occasionally smack them in the head with it. I cannot personally comprehend these ways of thinking that if someone is a vegan, the whole world must obey their demands and force other people to be vegan. That is the case of a TikTok account That Vegan Teacher. The woman behind this account is a Canadian teacher named Kadie Karen Diekmeyer (Yes, that is her middle name). She was a former nurse turned teacher turned animal rights "activist" preaching veganism on the platform. Most of the time, she just sings songs about veganism. On some occasion, she once sang songs to turn people to veganism in front of two successful chain restaurants KFC and McDonald's. Imagine someone so obnoxious, other vegans starting to distance themselves from her. She once compared animal agricultures to the most heinous war crime ever occurred in human history, the Holocaust. Hell, she once stated that being vegan is 'more special' than coming out as a part of the LGBTQ community, calling those who coming out as gay as someone who committed a 'selfish act'. But what really grinds my gears the most is when she tried to convince the legendary Gordon Ramsay to go vegan. Luckily, the Scottish legend called her 'vegan donut' while treating himself with a (real) beef burger on his TikTok video. Hell, my favorite comedian (besides Dave Chappelle, obviously) by the name of Isaac Butterfield was once smeared by this granny (Yes, she was born in 1964). Not to forget that she is a walking irony by feeding her dog vegan food (try to figure out the irony yourself). The straw that broke the camel's back that got her banned from the platform was when she dropped an N-bomb on one of her videos. 

 

            But Diekmeyer wasn't the only Canadian vegan I despise for being a plant-based pain in the ass. Richard Burgess, also known as Vegan Gains, is another one (a YouTuber, this time) who believes on the supremacy of veganism to the point that anyone who eats meat deserves to be killed and often wished for horrible lives and in turn, a slow and horrible deaths. He has a habit of routinely posting insult-filled videos to anyone who has opposite stances with him, most of the time accompanied with some form of bladed weapon. This motherfucker even has the audacity to record his own grandfather, who was suffering a fatal heart attack, and intended to use the video as an example of the misfortune that could befell meat eaters. His behaviors made Adolf Hitler look like a saint (and we all know that Hitler is the biggest piece of shit ever lived in history). He treats anyone who disagrees with him, even someone who is not a vegan or consider themselves no longer a vegan like the biggest enemy he has ever faced. He is also a known sadist and misanthropist (which explains his buffoonery), and legitimately hates everyone, even himself. Hell, he even claims that babies make him sick, and went on a lengthy (and gory) detail on how to dispose them. And for that reason, I can safely say to Burgess that he is the scum of humanity and does not deserve a humane treatment.

 

            There is also one Australian woman who likes to protest about animal abuse and promote veganism in the most risqué way possible. The Internet name is Vegan Booty, real name Tash Peterson. Her way of protesting is called "disruptive activism", or as I like to call it, making a huge dick of yourself. Her rap sheet contains acts like ruining a kid's birthday party just because of a cow being exhibited for the kids' enjoyment, walking into a Louis Vuitton shop buck naked covered in her own period blood, smearing a KFC joint in fake blood, and getting her ass handed to her by a fed-up butcher in a supermarket. Her behaviors are so over the top, she was banned from entering her own home state of Western Australia. Can't imagine why with that outrageous shit you've pulled over the years.

 

            In Indonesia, a TikTok account with the handle @keluargavegan (translates to vegan family in Indonesian) went viral for being so batshit crazy, other Indonesians dismiss him as a mere nuisance. He once put a video asking Google, the biggest search engine company in the web to delete any photos that contain meat and other animal products on the Internet. This waste of space even went to a traditional market to protest the sale of meat and fish, calling the merchants "unethical" and "cold-blooded". He even went as far as begging a confused seller to stop selling eggs. I don't know what kind of crack he' smoking, but this is up there with those three plant-based psychos mentioned above. 

          And we can't talk about extreme vegan activism without mentioning PETA, acronym for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals. This organization has an extensive rap sheet that can make Vegan Booty jealous. From ignorantly linking dairy consumption to autism, to stage a mock grill party that features a grilled baby. This poor excuse of an animal rights organization constantly butts heads with the folks on the Internet. Everybody remembers when they tried to smear the late Steve Irwin's legacy on his would have been 57^th birthday two years ago. Or the heinous fact that they are animal slaughters posed as a non-profit organization. 

 

            If you ask me, I'm kind of split here. On one side, there are people who went vegan for the sake of be the better version of themselves, to lose weight, to be healthy, or by the basis of animal care, who keeps their opinions to themselves, respects other people's dietary choices and generally getting along with everybody else. But on the other hand, there are these fuckwits that are poisoned by the narrative of "veganism is the most ethical diet ever, and if you don't agree with me, you're an animal abuser", and spread these shit messages for the sake of Internet clout, which is quite frankly, annoys me. Being mostly a carnivore, I can also enjoy some vegetables on the side, but the sauce that accompanies the dish must be out of this world delicious. But most of the time, I prefer meat and eggs for my daily diet. These brain-dead assholes always paint us, normal members of society as the villain just because of our dietary choices. And for once, I am gladly will play the part of it just to spite your broccoli-ridden ass. And to end this piece, I am not a vegan and I have no intention of going vegan, even if it's the only logical choice I have. You can call me an animal abuser or any name under the sun, but I will stick to my diet of meat, dairy, and eggs. And for those of you who are good vegans who minds their own business out there, good for you, I am rooting for you, and may you have a happy and fulfilling life. Stay safe, get your vaccines and boosters, and always two meters at all times.

Indonesian Food: Beloved and Renowned

 Well, this is it. After months of inactivity, I finally write again. But this time, the pandemic still rages on, I've got a new hobby (assembling Lego cars) to go with that, and some other work-related business I've had to attend. I've been tested twice for the coronavirus (rapid blood testing and PCR), both came back negative (phew!). Ushering the New Normal era means that we can go back to our normal activities, albeit still have to adhere to medical protocols (masks, two meters distance policy, and washing the hands frequently). But back when we still under quarantine (well, partial quarantine in Indonesia to be honest), I've walked down memory lane with older rock and metal songs, watching old YouTube videos, and watching cooking shows, especially if the host is the one Gordon Ramsay. 

 

            If you are wondering where this piece is going to go, calm down. This would still have the correlation with the topic, which is about the local Indonesian culinary scene. As you all know, when it comes to Indonesian cuisine, there is only one thing that can be associate with the 18.000+ island nation: spice. It has influences from the Chinese, The Middle East, Indians, and Malay. When Gordon Ramsay's latest show Uncharted, airing on National Geographic channel broadcasted the Indonesian episode, I was head over heels excited, because I'm about to watch an iconic British (Scottish to be exact) chef visiting Indonesia for the first time and try the colorful dishes this country has to offer. Aside from his job as a celebrity chef, Ramsay, who is also known for his short temper and explosive personality in the kitchen, likes to travel the world to sample the best food that he could possibly find. And in Indonesia, he chose the province of West Sumatera as his destination, which means one thing: the dish known as Rendang. Yes. The one that once voted as the most delicious dish by CNN in 2017, edging out Nasi Goreng (Indonesian Style Fried Rice), another Indonesian staple. 

 

            In the aftermath of that episode, He released two more Indonesia-related videos on his YouTube channel, one where he incorporated the Rendang paste into his duck egg omelet, and the other where he attempted to make Nasi Goreng with a deliciously good result. Hell, one channel in particular, run by a UK-based comedian Nigel Ng, under his persona Uncle Roger, reviewed this particular video with nothing but praise and compliments. All jokes aside, I think Chef Ramsay nailed this one, because of two reasons. One, he knows his ingredients. Nasi Goreng typically uses leftover rice, although some of us can also go with freshly cooked rice at some point. Leftover rice is better at absorbing flavors being thrown inside the cooking surface (in this case a wok), while freshly cooked rice might have some moisture in it, so it can be a little soggy at times (sorry Hersha Patel, but you just don't wash the freaking rice after cooking it). In his recipe, Chef Ramsay uses sambal paste AND the rendang paste to enhance the spiciness, aside from the fact that he also uses galangal, and fresh chili as the base (sorry Jamie Oliver, but putting chili jam in your fried rice is just wrong). Two, he knows the right tools. If you watch that video in question, I swear to God, that was one of the most entertaining cooks I've ever watched. The dude even uses two woks! The previous two videos featured normal cooking pan as the cooking surface, which has flat base instead of a curved one that Chef Ramsay used. As one of roughly 248 million Indonesian residents, I give my stamp of approval to Chef Gordon Ramsay for this one.

 

            On another side, I must say, while this dish is a fairly simple dish, it can be deceiving. Why? You asked. Because it's all about NOT overcomplicating the cooking process itself. Yes, fried rice in general doesn't have a fixed recipe, but that doesn't mean that everything can be thrown into a fried rice. Some ingredients might work on other setting, but not necessarily fit into most demographics. You can use pork-based products into the dish, but that means Muslims can't eat it. The other thing is finding the balance. A good fried rice should be balanced on spiciness, saltiness, smokiness, and the overall flavor of the rice itself. I've learned through many attempts that aside from those factors above, there is one thing that can easily be overlooked while cooking this particular dish: the amount of oil being put inside during the cooking process. A greasy fried rice is something you absolutely hate to see after such a quick, fast-paced cook. Over-seasoning or under-seasoning a fried rice can be fixed, but a greasy fried rice? nope, throw it out, start a new one. 

 

            But Indonesian cuisine is not just about Rendang or Nasi Goreng. With the latter, if you swap out the rice with noodles, you got Mie Goreng, in other regions, different cultures mean different cuisines. In my home province of North Sulawesi, seafood is the frontrunner of the local food scene. Since Manado is a coastline city, you can easily find restaurants that specializes in Ikan Bakar, or Grilled Fish. They mostly do catch of the day, which means whatever the fish that were caught the night before, is cooked the following day. Going up in the mountains, towards the Minahasa Regency, wild game is more commonly known. Since this province is a Christian-majority region, you can find many unusual dishes made with the most unusual of ingredients, like Paniki, which was made from bats, or snake-based dishes, and even Rentek Wu'uk, which is made from (unfortunately) dog meat. One thing is for sure, when it comes to spice tolerance, Manadonese in general are notorious for having iron stomach, because of their fairly high tolerance for spices. There is a saying in Manado, that goes, "If there is no chili on your plate, then you are not living your life". Other instances of different cultural background influencing their cuisine is The Island of The Gods, Bali. Being a Hindu majority, pork-based dishes is more prevalent in this island, albeit some of them still enjoys Beef. When it comes to its signature dish, you must mention the Betutu, made from either chicken or duck. This dish is more like a set-it-and-forget-it type of dish, as the cooking process takes roughly 7-8 hours. The Javanese are known to be on the sweet side of the culinary spectrum. One dish that resonates to me the most is obviously Gudeg, found in the Special Region of Jogjakarta. This dish uses unripe jackfruit submerged and stewed in sugar, served with rehydrated spicy cow skin, chicken or beef, and coconut rice. The Sundanese in West Java, where I'm currently living nowadays, are more into the spice game than the Javanese. Case in point, seblak. This soup-based dish is known to be spicy and can be adjusted to whoever is eating it. It contains meat products like chicken, fish balls, meatballs, beef, hard-boiled eggs, noodles, soggy crackers, and various vegetables, with adjustable heat levels, usually level 1 for really mild, to level 5 for scorching hot, like when you are being thrown to the deepest parts of Hell. They are also known to feature raw vegetables in their dish. On the eastern part of the country, like the Maluku Islands and Papua, they have an alternative to rice called Papeda. Made from sago, Papeda is usually eaten as the substitute to rice, often accompanied by Yellow Broth Fish Soup. The texture is kind of a jelly, but starchy. If you want to taste extreme food without having to torture yourself with dog met, just hop over to Makassar, the southern tip of the Sulawesi Island. The dish, Coto Makassar is mainly made using every part of a cow, like the meat, tongue, gizzard, colon, longue, and other parts, drenched in peanut-based broth, with a sprinkle of salt, sambal, and lemon juice, enjoyed with ketupat rice cakes. 

 

            Indonesian cuisine is really colorful, and depending on which province you currently live, it can be either spicy, sweet, or something in between. Many would say that in order to enjoy a country, you must first enjoy its food, and as an Indonesian myself, I'm proud to say that Indonesian food is finally being recognized all over the world. When this pandemic finally over, I can promise you who would like to spend some time in this country, that you will enjoy this country, its beautiful scenery, and most importantly, the food. Until then, stay safe, keep washing your hands, keep wearing that mask, and always 2 meters apart at all times.