Jackass: From Backyard Madness to Global Icon

 (Warning: Strong languages and graphic description ahead)

 

            I always love a good comedy show. Whether it's a sit-com, or stand-up specials. Whenever I could use a good laugh, I would watch, or even binge those shows until my belly hurts from laughing excessively for a long period of time. With that being said, I am mostly a sucker for slapstick comedy, which is a form of physical comedy that utilizes some form of body manipulation for a comedic effect. Hell, I love watching shows like Mr. Bean back in the day (Rowan Atkinson, what an absolute legend), and from that show, led me to perhaps one of the most well-known franchises in history, where few guys hang out and pull some gnarly stunts and pranks to each other and the wider audience. 

 

            You might be wondering how a show as confronting and gnarly as Jackass be considered as a pinnacle of pop culture. And to be honest, you have to look at the history, those TV series, and all feature films from this franchise to better understand that this show actually came from a humble beginning. It starts in late 1990s, when an aspiring actor Johnny Knoxville moved to Los Angeles and subsequently landed a job in commercials to support his family. He then came up with the idea of testing various self-defense weapons on himself as an homage to his hero, a gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson. From all the magazines that contact him, one skateboarding magazine in particular, Big Brother, became interested to the story, and convinced him to record the stunts. What he did at that fateful day set the precedents for all the stunts done in the later years. The stunts consist of testing taser gun, a pepper spray, a stun gun and a .38 caliber with a bulletproof vest. This was also his first meeting with fellow daredevil Jason "Wee Man" Acuña, future series director Jeff Tremaine, and fellow cast members Chris Pontius and Dave England, as well as cinematographer Rick Kosick. 

 

            Around the same time, in Pennsylvania, skateboarder Bam Margera and his crew, called CKY (Camp Kill Yourself), which consists of himself, Ryan Dunn, Brandon DiCamillo, Chris Raab (Raab Himself), Rake Yohn, and the Margeras, father Phil, mother April, Uncle Don Vito, and brother Jess filmed variety of stunts, pranks, and skateboarding scenes and released them as part of the CKY Video Series. This attracted Tremaine's attention and subsequently flew Margera to Los Angeles. After he saw the CKY2K video, he was convinced that the CKY crew would suit the idea of a stunt show that he, Knoxville, and Spike Jonze developed at the time. After being offered as a recurring segment on Saturday Night Live, in which later rejected, Comedy Central and MTV went on a bidding war resulted in the crew securing the latter as a 30-minute weekly show with more creative control. Soon after, they added a London-born, Florida native Stephen Glover, known as Steve-O, England's friend Ehren "Danger" McGhegey, and Preston Lacey to round up the cast. The show lasted from 2000 to 2002 and would run for 3 seasons. 

 

            After their spell on television, the crew went on to release Jackass: The Movie, supposedly as a swan song to their franchise. but then it grossed over US$ 60 Million with a budget of just US$ 5 million and landed #1 at the box office on its debut weekend. This in turn skyrocketed their popularity. They once did an MTV 24-hour takeover to launch their website Jackassworld.com. They initially thought that Jackass was in their rear-view mirror, but Knoxville was indirectly responsible for the idea for Jackass Number Two, after participating with Tremaine, along with Pontius and Steve-O for the latter two's spinoff Wildboyz. After scoring another box office, in 2010, Jackass 3D, the first to be shot in 3D technology, was released to a considerable success, earning US$ 50 Million. The crew are currently promoting their latest release with new cast members, titled Jackass Forever, which will be premiered on the 4th of February, after major pushbacks caused by the ongoing pandemic. 

 

            When you watch a snippet of those movies, or even an episode of their original TV series, you might be wondering what in the hell are these jackasses doing. Their stunts are literally pushing the human body and sanity to the highest limit. From human slingshots to odd contraptions, these people are putting their bodies on the line for the sake of entertainment. Hell, they are known for their excessive toilet humor, like the one when Dave England turned his ass into a volcano, but instead of shooting lava, he shoots his own fecal matter. Or those times when Christ Pontius put his penis on the line with stunts like strapping a remote-controlled helicopter to his meat pole or letting a woodpecker pluck its way to his dick wrapped in a cast. Sometimes, homoerotic, and adult humor completely takes over this series. Like most times Margera got his ass shoved with a dildo on multiple occasions, or those times Pontius pulled his "party boy" skit while wearing nothing but a speedo. How can I forget in the second movie, when a heavily intoxicated Steve-O once pierced a fishhook onto his cheek, and proceeded to swim in shark-infested Gulf of Mexico? Now that's gnarly. "Nutcracker" stunts are also prevalent across this franchise, like that scene in Jackass 3D when Steve-O suffered from a heavy baseball blow to his family jewels, or when Danger Ehren faced the threat of infertility when he turned his nuts into a punching target by UFC heavyweight champion Francis Ngannou in the upcoming Jackass Forever. And that just a small preview of the nastiness of these stunts. And the pranks are not less crazy either. One of those was an attempt to lure the rest of the crew into a trap. Knoxville and Margera devised a plan to trick them into hopping on a limo, later turned into a bee-invested trap, convincing Dunn, England, Steve-O, Wee Man and Kosick that they are on their way to a photoshoot. Margera also pulled some painful and often disgusting skits like "The Rocky", which involves him throwing a glass of water into the target's face from behind, before nailing them with an overhand left to knock them down, or that time when he literally makes everyone angry by urinating on them on purpose. One of the most memorable stunts that resulted in a heavy injury was not on the movie. But instead, it was an Evel Knievel-inspired stunt that resulted in Knoxville breaking his penis after a bike fell on top of him. He once stated that he has to endure a catheter session twice a day on his way to recovery. On a public setting, Knoxville would don his old man persona named "Irving Zisman” and proceeded to pull elaborate pranks and often obscene skits to the public. He once did a movie as Zisman, titled Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa. Outside of it, he once boxed Eric "Butterbean" Esch in a department store no less. He got knocked out cold from that bout.

 

            But like most pop culture icons, Jackass is not without its fair share of controversy. When the original series was first broadcasted in 2000, there are number of deaths blamed on the variety of stunts done by the crew. But by far, at least according to Knoxville while breaking down all his injuries to Vanity Fair, was when the crew filmed Jackass Number Two. Seriously, that movie even features Steve-O chugging beer from his fucking asshole. It was later revealed that his drug and alcohol addiction got worse, the entire crew staged an intervention to help him turn his life around. Currently he is clean and sober for almost 14 years. But the biggest blow for the crew was Ryan Dunn's death in June 2011 from a high-speed accident caused by drunk driving. This affected the surviving members of the Jackass crew, more specifically Margera, who then turned deep into alcoholism. More recently, Margera feuded with Tremaine which resulted into a temporary restraining order filed by the latter after harassments done to him and Knoxville, subsequently firing him from the franchise. But with that said, Knoxville later confirms that his footage will be featured in Jackass Forever.

 

            I must say, I find Jackass hilariously fucked up. Not just by the stunts and pranks, but also by the fact that they are willingly dared to stare at the face of death and laugh at it. More specific, hilarious because of the stunts and all the elaborate plans hatched for the sake of public entertainment (those nut shots and taser guns galore) and fucked up because they are willingly steep that low for fame. I was shocked when I read that Steve-O's addiction was not his shtick for the movies. He actually endured it for most of his lifetime. Some cast members like Chris Raab ended up stepping down from the franchise for the sake of his mental health. And for Bam Margera, I hope that guy found a closure to move on and actually made an effort to recover from his alcoholism.

 

            In a nutshell, Jackass started as a backyard dare to test some self-defense equipment by an aspiring actor. He then met some people who has the same mind as him, and then hatched a program featuring stunts and pranks, gathering fame and infamy along the way. Their fame then solidified by 5 feature films. From fame came turmoil by the form of alcohol and substance abuse, even ended up with someone from the crew died as a result. But with all that being said, Jackass will remain as a fan favorite for years to come, and I hope with the release of Jackass Forever, that legacy will be further enforced. Stay safe, get those jabs and two meters apart at all times.

Extreme Vegan Activists: A Plant-Based Pain in the Ass

 (Warning: Strong languages ahead)

 

            Hear me out on this one. I know some of you are into this diet for health benefits or if you are a true animal lover. I get it. I've been pestered on by two office cats in my desk, constantly wanting attention (and other coworkers' mind you), but I am not in a million years have the audacity to put those two in a pot of boiling water and turn them into a stew, even though I can be severely annoyed by their behaviors. Sure, maybe you would feel better physically or mentally if you swear to yourself to never eat meat, or maybe you have a heart of an angel, and managed to rescue a stray along the way. But what this piece is about is those shit-for-brains "activists" who simply have too much time in their goddamn hands and poisoning this peaceful society.

 

            Let's define what a vegan diet is. A vegan diet is basically a dietary choice that limits you to plant-based food only, with no animal product in sight. Some of you may confuse this with vegetarian diet, but there is a critical difference. Vegetarians would still consume some animal products like milk, eggs, and cheese, despite staying off meat of any kind. The opposite of the vegan diet would be the carnivore diet, which works the same way, but instead, leaving out all vegetables and fruits for meat and fish. Nowadays, there are more people (especially in the West) are switching or considering switching to a plant-based diet for multitude of reasons, whether to lose weight or other medical reasons, or simply because they view animals as the humanity's companion.

 

            There are many things that you can gain from this dietary choice. For example, it can help you with your digestive system, as this diet tend to provide more fiber that would excite your intestines. It also rich in other essential nutrients like antioxidant, potassium, magnesium, folate, and vitamins A, C, and E. It is also beneficial if you are currently losing weight, as this diet are proven to help you lose substantial amount, if not more weight than the standard or semi vegetarian diet. Most vegans would also argue that eating red meat poses more risk of having some form of cancer, and science does back this up. And it's also the same case with heart disease. And last but not least, by only having plant-based diet would benefit your kidneys, as vegans tend to have lower blood sugar levels.

            But everything has its dark side, and veganism also has it. For one, since meat is not an option, protein deficiency is a major problem since most vegetables did not have enough protein level as much as meat of any kind. And as a result, overindulgence of starch substitutes it, as this dietary option does not restrict it. having a big bowl of pasta would have the same results and effects as eating excessive amount of junk food. If you want to go vegan, be ready to take copious number of supplements along the way. If this diet is poorly planned, or just a part of some crash diet, you would probably be left lacking other essential nutrients like fatty acids, vitamin B12, B2 and D, niacin, zinc, calcium, iodine, among others. Like I said earlier, these types of meals need proper planning, and it can be impractical. You need to constantly come up with new ways of eating, while at the same time filter out those pesky animal-based products along the way. Let's say you are desperate to eat some meat, maybe you can find some meat substitute that happens to taste like the real thing. It's good and ethical, but those things may contain additives, artificial coloring, and a hell of a lot of sweeteners, which is deadly in the long run. And no matter which side of the spectrum you stand, these substitutes are in fact, processed foods. And like processed meat, processed meat substitutes still pose the same dangers.

 

            Of course, you want to share your experience of being a vegan to your loved ones or to the population in general, maybe you would gain friends with similar mindset or perhaps might convince someone or two to be vegan. And that essentially is a good thing. You want to do good deeds for humanity, right? But what I am witnessing for these past two to three years is like those two cats I mentioned earlier, except these "activists" actually made me want to sit them down and eat the biggest tomahawk steak (medium rare) imaginable and waving the bone in front of their face, occasionally smack them in the head with it. I cannot personally comprehend these ways of thinking that if someone is a vegan, the whole world must obey their demands and force other people to be vegan. That is the case of a TikTok account That Vegan Teacher. The woman behind this account is a Canadian teacher named Kadie Karen Diekmeyer (Yes, that is her middle name). She was a former nurse turned teacher turned animal rights "activist" preaching veganism on the platform. Most of the time, she just sings songs about veganism. On some occasion, she once sang songs to turn people to veganism in front of two successful chain restaurants KFC and McDonald's. Imagine someone so obnoxious, other vegans starting to distance themselves from her. She once compared animal agricultures to the most heinous war crime ever occurred in human history, the Holocaust. Hell, she once stated that being vegan is 'more special' than coming out as a part of the LGBTQ community, calling those who coming out as gay as someone who committed a 'selfish act'. But what really grinds my gears the most is when she tried to convince the legendary Gordon Ramsay to go vegan. Luckily, the Scottish legend called her 'vegan donut' while treating himself with a (real) beef burger on his TikTok video. Hell, my favorite comedian (besides Dave Chappelle, obviously) by the name of Isaac Butterfield was once smeared by this granny (Yes, she was born in 1964). Not to forget that she is a walking irony by feeding her dog vegan food (try to figure out the irony yourself). The straw that broke the camel's back that got her banned from the platform was when she dropped an N-bomb on one of her videos. 

 

            But Diekmeyer wasn't the only Canadian vegan I despise for being a plant-based pain in the ass. Richard Burgess, also known as Vegan Gains, is another one (a YouTuber, this time) who believes on the supremacy of veganism to the point that anyone who eats meat deserves to be killed and often wished for horrible lives and in turn, a slow and horrible deaths. He has a habit of routinely posting insult-filled videos to anyone who has opposite stances with him, most of the time accompanied with some form of bladed weapon. This motherfucker even has the audacity to record his own grandfather, who was suffering a fatal heart attack, and intended to use the video as an example of the misfortune that could befell meat eaters. His behaviors made Adolf Hitler look like a saint (and we all know that Hitler is the biggest piece of shit ever lived in history). He treats anyone who disagrees with him, even someone who is not a vegan or consider themselves no longer a vegan like the biggest enemy he has ever faced. He is also a known sadist and misanthropist (which explains his buffoonery), and legitimately hates everyone, even himself. Hell, he even claims that babies make him sick, and went on a lengthy (and gory) detail on how to dispose them. And for that reason, I can safely say to Burgess that he is the scum of humanity and does not deserve a humane treatment.

 

            There is also one Australian woman who likes to protest about animal abuse and promote veganism in the most risqué way possible. The Internet name is Vegan Booty, real name Tash Peterson. Her way of protesting is called "disruptive activism", or as I like to call it, making a huge dick of yourself. Her rap sheet contains acts like ruining a kid's birthday party just because of a cow being exhibited for the kids' enjoyment, walking into a Louis Vuitton shop buck naked covered in her own period blood, smearing a KFC joint in fake blood, and getting her ass handed to her by a fed-up butcher in a supermarket. Her behaviors are so over the top, she was banned from entering her own home state of Western Australia. Can't imagine why with that outrageous shit you've pulled over the years.

 

            In Indonesia, a TikTok account with the handle @keluargavegan (translates to vegan family in Indonesian) went viral for being so batshit crazy, other Indonesians dismiss him as a mere nuisance. He once put a video asking Google, the biggest search engine company in the web to delete any photos that contain meat and other animal products on the Internet. This waste of space even went to a traditional market to protest the sale of meat and fish, calling the merchants "unethical" and "cold-blooded". He even went as far as begging a confused seller to stop selling eggs. I don't know what kind of crack he' smoking, but this is up there with those three plant-based psychos mentioned above. 

          And we can't talk about extreme vegan activism without mentioning PETA, acronym for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals. This organization has an extensive rap sheet that can make Vegan Booty jealous. From ignorantly linking dairy consumption to autism, to stage a mock grill party that features a grilled baby. This poor excuse of an animal rights organization constantly butts heads with the folks on the Internet. Everybody remembers when they tried to smear the late Steve Irwin's legacy on his would have been 57^th birthday two years ago. Or the heinous fact that they are animal slaughters posed as a non-profit organization. 

 

            If you ask me, I'm kind of split here. On one side, there are people who went vegan for the sake of be the better version of themselves, to lose weight, to be healthy, or by the basis of animal care, who keeps their opinions to themselves, respects other people's dietary choices and generally getting along with everybody else. But on the other hand, there are these fuckwits that are poisoned by the narrative of "veganism is the most ethical diet ever, and if you don't agree with me, you're an animal abuser", and spread these shit messages for the sake of Internet clout, which is quite frankly, annoys me. Being mostly a carnivore, I can also enjoy some vegetables on the side, but the sauce that accompanies the dish must be out of this world delicious. But most of the time, I prefer meat and eggs for my daily diet. These brain-dead assholes always paint us, normal members of society as the villain just because of our dietary choices. And for once, I am gladly will play the part of it just to spite your broccoli-ridden ass. And to end this piece, I am not a vegan and I have no intention of going vegan, even if it's the only logical choice I have. You can call me an animal abuser or any name under the sun, but I will stick to my diet of meat, dairy, and eggs. And for those of you who are good vegans who minds their own business out there, good for you, I am rooting for you, and may you have a happy and fulfilling life. Stay safe, get your vaccines and boosters, and always two meters at all times.